I know only fifteen people (literally) and at least two readers here (hi!) also read my dog blog, Flying Dingo. The two of you may have noticed that it’s been, ahem, a little quiet over there for a little while.
The first reason for that is that Daphne has left us. Yes, yes, big dramatic statement to say that she’s staying with my dad for a week or two. His dog died at Christmas, and he’s the one who taught me that it’s not home if there’s no dog in it. For us, luckily, the two cats are taking up a lot of space, so we’re doing just fine without her.
Things are getting really cozy without the dog around to supervise. Look! They're almost touching!
The second is that I’m slowly realizing how much Daphne is no longer a “problem” dog. I can take her for half-hour walks around the neighborhood, and she might bark at other dogs, but mostly she’s focused on either the absolutely fascinating scents on the ground or on me (you know, the one with the giant bag of treats at my hip). Not only does she seem calmer in general, but I have gotten better at noticing her signals: she was approached by several dogs at the park the other day and it was clear to me – quickly! – that she was overwhelmed and couldn’t see a way out of this pack. I stepped away, called her over, and she came and refocused on me. She was playing again within a minute.
Not sad anymore because her mamas know what
I know all of this is dog stuff, but it also feels like Big Life Things, and that’s why it’s here. Last weekend I went to a behavior symposium at Tufts vet school, and we all sat in on a live behavior consult. This was a 1.5 year old, 53 pound (Daph’s exact weigh) dog who was biting the owners and breaking the skin. Like, severely biting the owners. During the session, he seemed happy and relaxed until he suddenly became obsessed with one of the students’ shoes and tried to attack them, and he later became agitated towards one of the staff members and was lunging at her aggressively.
You guys! Daphne would never do that!
We had a thunderstorm the other night (weird, right?). When we used to have thunderstorms, Daphne would bark at every roll of thunder, running around the house with her hackles up. It was like every time there was thunder, someone was knocking on our door. This thunderstorm? She gently barked quietly twice, and other than that, she spent the time lying on her back and getting her belly rubbed. Tough life.
this is the face of a tortured dog, obviously.
I think it’s often really hard to realize how far we’ve come, whether it be with our dog, in our relationship, or in some other aspect of our lives, like our ability to get out the door on time. It takes practice and time and suddenly you’re just doing it or just taking it for granted. Suddenly you can take your dog off leash at the dog park, and it’s a wonderful experience! Or you can tell your partner that you don’t especially want to watch TV with her tonight and you can go do your own thing and no one’s feelings will be hurt. Or you can leave the house on time (ahh must finish writing this in three minutes!).
So here’s my proposal: when we do make these changes, let’s try to notice them. Maybe they’re not the ultimate goal – I mean, I’m happy that Daph isn’t lunging at people, but she would still never let a stranger pet her while outside the house – but these are big steps along the way, and they’re worth being proud of.
What have you come far in this past year? What big changes have you made/are you making? Did you even know I have a dog blog (however infrequently updated it is)? What are you doing today*?
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*I am on my way to the monkeys!! Which I promise I will tell you about once I have something to say.
**Points for you if you get the title reference! Seriously, first one who mentions it, I will send you an awesome mix CD. For reals. Yes, people still make actual, physical mix CDs.
Song is Cake’s Going the Distance right?? And yay Daphne. I’ve noticed the same things with Macaroni. She has more of desire to stick with me and listen to me when we’re working on things and she’s easier to take out in public.
My big effort – keeping myself looking at the glass half full even when things are rough in school. And i’m doing a damn good job if i say so myself.
P.S. I will call you about the behavior symposium – life’s been busy!
Yay CD for Kim! You are doing a good job! Even though it sounds super hard and you’re very honest about that, it’s clear that you are keeping your eyes on the prize and staying positive. AND you still manage to have time to foster cats who need you and occasionally see your friends. You rock!
Totally Cake’s “The Distance.” Off of…. Fashion Nugget. I heard they have a new album out, but I haven’t heard it yet.
Any advice for talkative cats? I came *this* close to picking ours up and throwing her across the apartment the other night when she woke me up 3 times (at 10:30, 11:45, and 4:00am).
I think that sometimes we only notice these big (little) steps very suddenly, after they have been around for a while, and all of the sudden you think “Oh hey! This thing, I do it differently now!” I find it much akin to when we are sick with a cold and it is lingering a little bit but you think you are better, and then one day you can breathe through your nose, and it is great!
And someday, perhaps, I will be able to get out the house on time. I maintain that I can still do it under extreme duress (I took a 2 minute shower, cleaned the house, and made cookies on Tuesday in the hour and a half between my bike ride and when my gf arrived at the light rail station from the airport: success!), but the rest of the time, it is a failed endeavor.
Nice job! You win second place. Maybe I’ll email you some awesome music?
Is your cat just talking, or doing stuff, too? ie climbing on your head, jumping on you, etc. I might have some ideas…
Exactly, exactly about noticing things! I don’t think I realized how much progress we had made with Daph until I saw this other awful dog. And money stuff? We used to not even be able to *talk* about our money and now we have a joint account and ALL our money is there, and we both ask permission to use it for unusual things (new books, behavior symposium, etc). It’s like we woke up and were like, “OH, we’re ADULTS. When did that happen?” In all the little steps along the way, I guess…
That is an amazing story of getting out of the house on time. AMAZING. I aspire to be like you in that instance. But not in the other failed instances… in those, I am already like you.
This post was so nice to read this morning. I get frustrated with myself when I feel like I’m not making enough progress quickly enough–whether it’s with training my pups or finally getting our new house to the point where it looks like actual adults live there.
You’re right, it sometimes does take a little distance and some deep breaths to realize how far you’ve come.
And holy smokes–your dramatically written posts get me every time! I had been wondering about your dog blog, and I just about died when I read “Daphne has left us!” I’m glad she’s doing well!
Oh, we are always trying to make our house look like real adults live here. Sigh. I’m glad this provided some comfort! Sometimes I like to look at the pictures I took before we moved in, and see how far we came from there (FAR).
Though I have to admit, I miss her terribly.
Daphne had two 4-mile walks today… I hear she’s doing fine
even though i am not the first (bummer! i love mix cd’s
) i just had to say i loooove cake’s “the distance” and now you have effectively gotten it stuck in my head for the rest of the day 
i feel like i have come far in the wrong direction this past year
not sticking to my goals, gaining weigh, etc, etc. but, i am ready now to start making a change, so these next couple of weeks should be interesting! i’m looking forward to pushing myself out of my comfort zone…well, kind of lol. it’s scary too! 
i’m hanging out with my sister today! she is visiting this week from philadelphia
enjoy the monkey’s!
Haha, it’s stuck in my head, too! ALL DAY.
I’m sure there are some things you have done right in the last year! I think the issue is that we often make such little changes that it’s hard to notice them, good or bad. Good luck with making the changes you want to make! And have fun with your sister
shucks. the whole time zone difference put me a bit slow on the post! but i caught the reference as soon as i saw the title- i loved that song during erg pieces in college. always felt so appropriate, remember?
anyway. lovely post. let’s notice our changes and progress! xoxo
SUCH a good piece to erg to! I’ll have to remember that for my girls this season (AH i’m a crew coach! CRAZY!).
Yes, noticing and progressing! Thanks for your lovely comments and presence here… always appreciated. <3
Damn, I missed the title raffle. What if I can quote the entire first verse and recently did so, in the car, with one of my husband’s friends asking if I had Tourettes? WHAT IF I’M THAT COOL?
I am responding to emails (ahem), to exciting comments about my APW wedding graduate post, I’m working on a project here in the office, and I’m thinking about how to shake my insecurities and to Go to the Gym (something I don’t do often). I’ve come some way in that last regard- I go to the gym once a week for a Zumba class, which is Big for me. Baby steps, right? And I went to my first psychiatrist appointment yesterday to start evaluation! I’m nervous, but hopeful.
Haha, you are SO COOL that if you come to my house I could be convinced to make you a CD. So happy you got so many exciting comments! And I want to hear more about Zumba – I am intrigued. Baby steps – EXACTLY. I’m taking a night off from yoga, which is hard because I think yoga is really, really good for my mental health, but I also really, really want to sit on the couch and respond thoughtfully to all the nice comments people left today. Sometimes you have to sacrifice, right?
(I am hopeful for you!)
I’m proud of both you and Daphne. If I had a pup and lived near you, I’d want you to help teach us behavior techniques.
Aww, thanks! This comment made me so happy!
oooh, i loved me some cake. back in the day ‘fashion nugget’ got a lot of play on my yellow sony sports tape player.
i haven’t really thought of it this way before, but thinking of how far you’ve come is an awesome way to bring a little gratitude into your day. you and daphne have come sooo far! she’s so lucky to have you and turtle!
and today: i went cross country skiing with my husband over lunch. it’s so gorgeous here today; big piles of snow, lots of sun and birds are chirping! later, I’m ‘cycling to the movies’ at the Y with friends.
I know! I am trying to bring more gratitude into my life, and it all sort of struck me this morning. You nailed it: “thinking of how far you’ve come is an awesome way to bring a little gratitude into your day.”
Oh man, cross country skiing sounds amazing. I need to do that before the snow all goes away… I don’t think I’ve been in 15 years, but I would love to go again.
I’m so glad to hear Daphne is doing so well! If only I could do the same for Ranger!
Thanks! What’s going on with Ranger? Maybe I have some tips? Not sure, but please comment or email me if you want any thoughts (and sorry if that sounds snobby… but I’m obsessively reading dog behavior books and attending behavior conferences, so I’m learning a lot!).