A glimpse into our lives… the dogs are finally lying down instead of humping each others’ heads and/or trying to bite each others’ faces. Our conversation turns to my blogging habits:
Turtle: You said you would write about our marriage… and then you wrote about the dogs. Again.
Me: Well, things have been hard lately, and I don’t want to write about that until we’re out of it.
Turtle: There’s lots of other things you could write about. [Lists things.]
Me: Yeah, you’re right. There are other things.
[We hug. It's romantic and sweet. Finally, a moment of peace in all of the chaos and rushing around. And then...]
Turtle: You don’t have to write about how we’re in a rut.
Me: We’re in a rut?! [For the record, I am shocked and appalled. A rut is the worst place you can be! Saying you're in a rut means it's all downhill from here...]
Turtle: Well, honey, there’s no one I’d rather be in a rut with.
[We gaze lovingly into each other's eyes. I am relieved. We are going to be okay.]
Turtle: Except Rachel Maddow.Later in the evening, I was debating whether to actually post this conversation on the internet. I was picturing relatives emailing – “I heard you’re getting divorced! Do you need somewhere to stay?” – and my sister calling and saying in her caring voice, “Are you okay?” You know, where “okay” means so much more than “okay.” So, let it be officially released that we are okay, and we’re just in a bit of a rough patch where we are passing each other in the night and never eating together and mostly just being snippy and complaining about whose turn it is to clean up the poop/vomit of one of the other four creatures that lives with us.
But you know what’s interesting? This has been going on for weeks. And last night was the first night where either of us actually said it. I said “hard lately” and panicked for a moment, wondering if I was the only one experiencing this bit of difficulty. And – this should not be a surprise – I wasn’t. I’m not. We’re both here and we’re both getting and just saying that out loud made both of us feel better. Yes, admitting that things suck a little bit made everything suck a whole lot less.
The conversation a little later went something like this:
Me: So, I’m going to put that on the internet, but with a disclaimer that we’re in a “just being snippy and not very nice” rough patch, not a “you take those pets and I’ll take these and I’m staying with my mom” rough patch. And -
Turtle (interrupting): I’ll take Piper and no one else. THEY ARE ALL YOURS.
Some things never change.
Anyway, things are relatively alright, and we are implementing a marriage-saving project starting tomorrow! Okay, I’m sort of doing it for school, but also saving marriages! Hopefully it’ll be way successful and I’ll share it next week, graphs and all. Woo hoo! Behavior analysis changes lives, people.
What are your relationship savers? Does anyone else already have the pets divvied up, even if they’re in a happy marriage? I guess a better question before that last one is, did anyone else successfully talk their spouse into getting 3x the number of pets their spouse actually wanted?