A glimpse into my life this morning:
Me: Hey, dogs! We are FUCKING FUNCTIONAL today! We are! We are highly functioning individuals! We can kick today’s butt!
Dogs:
"If we avoid eye contact, maybe she'll go away."
Yes, I talk to the dogs ALL THE TIME. That’s what I get for being home alone with just the two of them and no one to discourage these nasty habits before they became so, well, habitual. What of it?
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Hello! I'm Bird, and I married my wife Turtle on September 18th, 2010. Read along as I regale you with tales of our wedding, my crazy attempts to figure out what I'm doing now that I've scrapped my plans for vet school, our menagerie management, and having The Gay, all while still being a human being.
You can email me at thequeerbird {at} gmail {dot} com, or ask me something here!
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We both talk to the dog a lot.
It’s sort of ridiculous. Also there is a “Sprocket voice” that occasionally responds. (Ugh…. embarrassing.)
Haha, I will record a video for you! So many voices. In fact, our one-eyed tuxedo cat is British. How could he not be? With a monocle and a tux? I can’t believe I’m admitting this on the internet.
I talk to my cat all day long. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t know what her real name is anymore since I’ve made up so many ridiculous nicknames for her.
Right?! Yeah, I try to call the dogs “big dog” and “little dog” when I’m talking at/about them so that I don’t desensitize them to their names. Who knows if it really works.
Oh I talk to all my animals all the time. I even meow at Freddie and he meows back, which K finds super weird.
So you’re not the only weirdo out there. 
Hahaha I love that he meows back! We’re not that talented yet.
I totally talk to my dogs. The problem is just magnified when I am home alone!
Exactly! I try to do it less (or not at all) when I’m not alone, but given the amount that I do it, I often forget to stop when someone is around :0) lots of odd looks from my wife.