On how Rachel Maddow is either ruining or saving my marriage

A glimpse into our lives… the dogs are finally lying down instead of humping each others’ heads and/or trying to bite each others’ faces. Our conversation turns to my blogging habits:

Turtle: You said you would write about our marriage… and then you wrote about the dogs. Again.
Me: Well, things have been hard lately, and I don’t want to write about that until we’re out of it.
Turtle: There’s lots of other things you could write about. [Lists things.]
Me: Yeah, you’re right. There are other things.

[We hug. It's romantic and sweet. Finally, a moment of peace in all of the chaos and rushing around. And then...]

Turtle: You don’t have to write about how we’re in a rut.
Me: We’re in a rut?! [For the record, I am shocked and appalled. A rut is the worst place you can be! Saying you're in a rut means it's all downhill from here...]
Turtle: Well, honey, there’s no one I’d rather be in a rut with.

[We gaze lovingly into each other's eyes. I am relieved. We are going to be okay.]

Turtle: Except Rachel Maddow.

“]

Honestly, she's hard to resist. [click image for source

Later in the evening, I was debating whether to actually post this conversation on the internet. I was picturing relatives emailing – “I heard you’re getting divorced! Do you need somewhere to stay?” – and my sister calling and saying in her caring voice, “Are you okay?” You know, where “okay” means so much more than “okay.” So, let it be officially released that we are okay, and we’re just in a bit of a rough patch where we are passing each other in the night and never eating together and mostly just being snippy and complaining about whose turn it is to clean up the poop/vomit of one of the other four creatures that lives with us.

But you know what’s interesting? This has been going on for weeks. And last night was the first night where either of us actually said it. I said “hard lately” and panicked for a moment, wondering if I was the only one experiencing this bit of difficulty. And – this should not be a surprise – I wasn’t. I’m not. We’re both here and we’re both getting and just saying that out loud made both of us feel better. Yes, admitting that things suck a little bit made everything suck a whole lot less.

us on our honeymoon, when things did not suck AT ALL. awww.

The conversation a little later went something like this:

Me: So, I’m going to put that on the internet, but with a disclaimer that we’re in a “just being snippy and not very nice” rough patch, not a “you take those pets and I’ll take these and I’m staying with my mom” rough patch. And -
Turtle (interrupting): I’ll take Piper and no one else. THEY ARE ALL YOURS.

Some things never change.

trust me here: do not try to separate this woman from her cat.

Anyway, things are relatively alright, and we are implementing a marriage-saving project starting tomorrow! Okay, I’m sort of doing it for school, but also saving marriages! Hopefully it’ll be way successful and I’ll share it next week, graphs and all. Woo hoo! Behavior analysis changes lives, people.

What are your relationship savers? Does anyone else already have the pets divvied up, even if they’re in a happy marriage? I guess a better question before that last one is, did anyone else successfully talk their spouse into getting 3x the number of pets their spouse actually wanted?

28 Comments

Filed under Marriage/Wedding/Engagement

Emerging…

My lovely wife wants me to write less about our dogs and more about our marriage. Sadly, I don’t have anything exciting to say about our marriage these days beyond that I think I’m still married and I do occasionally see my wife. Or at least her general shape as we fall asleep & wake up. Le sigh. I’ve started a project for school that involves our tracking how much time we are home together and exactly what we are doing with that time… I’ll share the results when I have them, but let it suffice to say for now that we are not spending nearly enough time together doing quality things. Intervention, stat! But seriously, I am implementing an actual intervention on Wednesday. We’ll see what happens.

In the meantime, dogs! We no longer keep actual dog beds in the puppy’s crate, but we do keep a ton of blankets for her to curl up in, and they are all blankets that we don’t mind losing. When it’s cold at night, Eleanor (whose name was still Faegan when I took this video) curls up under one of the many blankets in her crate. Occasionally, I have to wake her up in the morning…

So, uh, how’s your marriage going? Any tips for keeping it superawesome in a superlittle amount of time?

9 Comments

Filed under Marriage/Wedding/Engagement, Menagerie

Introducing our puppy…

… okay, okay. It’s not a new introduction.

When we adopted the adorable if occasionally devilish puppy, we had the hardest time agreeing on names. We had lists and lists, and Turtle hated all the names that I loved, and I hated all the names that she loved. Her name was Maybeline when we adopted her, and we didn’t veer too far off the path (“May” rhymes with “Fae”…?). We agreed on the nickname “Fae” and then tried to figure out what to tack on the end. “Lin”? “Beline”? ”Gan”?

The truth of the matter is that we just don’t love it. People always think she’s a he or they ask if she’s named after the bad guy from Oliver Twist. Someone asked me if her name was Bacon after I called her at the park, and I said, “No, but maybe we should consider that…”

The biggest sign that we didn’t have quite the right name for her is that we’ve been discussing new ones for the last five and a half months. Well, we made a decision! And yesterday we made it official by taking off her old tag and putting on her new one. Introducing…

I have to say, Eleanor is not my absolute name of choice, but I love the nickname Lenny. Any Ghostwriter (wiki page here) fans out there? Lenni was my favorite. (Maybe I should have looked up that spelling before putting “Lenny” on her ID tag. Oh well.)

The logistics of dog-name-changing aren’t yet as bad as you might think. I spent the last two weeks teaching her the new names (both Eleanor and Lenny), and she comes running over if you call either one of them. Success! It seems almost easier than teaching a name the first time around; currently, Lenny and Eleanor both mean “Come here and get a treat!” while Fae and Faegan mean “Come here!” “Stop that!” “Go away!’ “Be quiet!” “Stop chasing the cats!” It was sort of nice to teach a new name in a bubble.

Look at that tail wagging (it’s the blur behind her butt): we’re all happy with the changes here!

Anyone else decide to rename a pet after a ridiculously long time? At least we made it under the year mark…

15 Comments

Filed under Menagerie

One of those days

A glimpse into my life this morning:

Me: Hey, dogs! We are FUCKING FUNCTIONAL today! We are! We are highly functioning individuals! We can kick today’s butt!

Dogs:

"If we avoid eye contact, maybe she'll go away."

Yes, I talk to the dogs ALL THE TIME. That’s what I get for being home alone with just the two of them and no one to discourage these nasty habits before they became so, well, habitual. What of it?

9 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

Wiped Out Wednesday

Happy Leap Day! If only this extra day meant extra hours in the day. Here are some adorable pictures of my pups, both taken around 9.5 months of age, being snuggly and wonderful. Maybe 9.5 months is the first stage of awesome. Don’t worry, folks, it wears off around age 1 and comes back around age 3. So, we’re in for a treat!

Just kidding. Sort of. All the stages are fun, even the super challenging ones. It’s all a big, fun, sometimes-stressful learning experience, but it’s worth it. And the amount of thrill I feel when I realize I have successful taught my dog to take multiple steps backward with just one word? Amazing. Also, exhausting.

Happy Hump Day, Leap Day*, and whatever other kind of day today is for you!

*As I typed that, Turtle ran into the room and leaped across it. Best marriage ever.

2 Comments

Filed under Menagerie